Aleney de Winter trades marble monuments for clandestine capers on a wild Washington, DC, adventure.
The late afternoon sun casts long, golden shadows across a fountain in Dupont Circle. Eyes hidden behind my sunglasses, I scan the park, observing people strolling past and children playing on the grassy lawn, before we approach the baseball-capped stranger, heart pounding.
“Excuse me, is there a good hotel bar nearby?” I ask. As the stranger turns to face us, I am relieved to spot the magazine in her right hand.
“Yes, I recommend the Tabard Inn.”
The exchange, though seemingly ordinary, is confirmation for our crew. It’s on.
Washington, DC, is a city steeped in espionage and intrigue, where every corner holds a secret and every landmark a clandestine story. Few people know those secrets as well as our contact, Rosanna Minchew, a former CIA Directorate of Operations officer, and expert on the shadowy secrets and history of espionage in DC. And she’ll be totally fine that I’ve blown her cover because, now retired from the agency, she’s also the founder of Spyher, a tour company run by a network of intelligence pros offering spy-themed tours inspired by real-world experiences.
On the immersive 90-minute tour of Embassy Row, where diplomats and infamous spies lived and operated for decades, Rosanna shares riveting tales of espionage and intrigue, suspicious deaths, and spy secrets.
But when it comes to this spy thing, this is not our first rodeo. Just yesterday, we’d successfully completed a mission at the International Spy Museum. A treat for kids and their adults, visitors to this brilliant, interactive museum receive an undercover identity and a “mission” upon entering, and see if they have what it takes to be a spy as they peruse what is the largest collection of international espionage artefacts on public display in the world. This includes everything from a KGB lipstick, surveillance equipment including a shoe with a bug in its heel, and an ornate metallic bodice that may have belonged to Mata Hari herself, to an eye-watering rectal tool kit.
The museum also features displays dedicated to intelligence successes and failures, a room where you can climb inside a replica torture device, and exhibits dedicated to the science, technology and analysis used in spy craft. While kids over nine will love it all, there’s a Family Highlight Guide that will help make it fun for little ones.
After passing a series of interactive challenges that test our spy skills – from code cracking to gathering secret information – I discovered that my own powers of perception and observation, a knack for code breaking, along with my desire to own the sexy 1964 Aston Martin in the lobby, would make me an excellent spy. Sure, my squeamishness about the whole killing and torturing thing might make me better suited to a strategic role, but hey, it’s still a pass.
A pass that came in handy when a member of our group had to identify and subtly retrieve information from a dead drop on the tour. It turns out I’m good at lurking too.
The Spyher Embassy Row tour proves one of, if not the best, walking tours we’ve ever done anywhere in the world. And they’re family friendly. Older kids will love the intrigue of this tour, but Rosanna’s team also offers private Secret Agent Tours and is introducing city-wide hands-on kids’ tours, where wannabe younger spies can learn the ropes with a real CIA officer in the back streets and dark alleys of Georgetown, learning to read signals, create concealment devices, decode secret messages, and load a dead drop along the way. They’ll also learn about what motivates a spy to spy, and how bananas helped overthrow a government. Yes, bananas.
Inspired, we decide to delve deeper into the quirky underbelly of DC. Between admiring the grandeur of Washington, DC’s mammoth monuments and museums, we squeeze in bites of the city’s smaller sites on a city-wide treasure hunt of sorts.
We’re suitably awestruck by the grandeur of the Capitol Building, where the echoes of historic debates still seem to linger. Wandering through the House of Representatives and US Senate office buildings, we can almost hear the impassioned discussions that shaped the nation. And at the whisper-quiet Library of Congress, a breathtaking repository of knowledge, our detective work has us seeking not only the 500-year-old Gutenberg Bible but the contents of Lincoln’s pockets from the night of his assassination.
Capitol Hill has plenty of secrets. But they’re not all hidden in the corridors of power. We stroll up the hill, passing rows of colourful historic homes, this one blue-painted brick, that one a rusty red, until we reach the historic Eastern Market, where indoor merchants hawk everything from fresh flowers to cheese. It is here that we make one of our most exciting discoveries, the sublime Maryland Crab Cake Rolls at The Market Lunch. Bellies full, we stroll the surrounding streets and stumble across Capitol Hill Books, a treasure trove of second-hand and rare books, and another tick off our treasure hunt: the list of banned words, a cheeky sign of the words that no one is allowed to speak in the store, like “like”.
A moonrock embedded in a stained-glass window is the first hint that Washington National Cathedral in Georgetown is not your average house of worship; the second is the secret hidden within its soaring spires. As we explore the cathedral’s northwest towers, we embark on a quest to uncover Darth Vader amongst its army of 111 enigmatic gargoyle guardians. But with our spy skills activated, it’s a doddle.
Once a bustling tobacco port, Georgetown’s cobblestone streets now lead to quirky boutiques and charming eateries. But beneath its refined exterior lurk a few oddities, adding an extra layer of intrigue to the charming neighbourhood. After a leisurely stroll along the pretty Georgetown Waterfront Park, soaking in the stunning views of the Potomac River and the Key Bridge, the kids stopping to play in the water play area, you might dare to venture towards the Exorcist Steps, hidden in the heart of Georgetown, that featured in the 1973 horror movie The Exorcist. While kids may not be familiar with the movie, there’s something intriguingly eerie about the steps, and a must on our list of Capital curiosities.
Dinner comes with more quirks at Georgetown’s Oki Bowl, where the ambience is more anime convention than noodle shop. Every surface is covered in colourful and kitschy collectibles, and the food – a flavourful fusion of Japanese and Thai influences – comes with its own unique twist.
We gaze up at the towering Washington Monument, explore the stunning Jefferson Memorial, and come face to toe with the big man himself, Lincoln, at the Lincoln Memorial. But we’re scoping out some other presidential tributes so head to retail district Bryant Street and the Alamo Drafthouse to view its Hall of Fake Presidents, which includes everything from a portrait of Harrison Ford in Air Force One to a statue of President Whitmore (Bill Pullman) from Independence Day.
We get our museum on at the National Children’s Museum of Washington DC where kids can explore fun interactive science, technology, engineering, arts, and math exhibits. All useful skills for a good spy! And at Planet Word, we explore the power of language. The world first voice-activated museum features galleries like Words Matter, highlighting language’s impact on lives and Lexicon Lane, a puzzle room filled with mysteries waiting to be solved by spies like us.
Then it’s time for some Smithsonian action, starting with the National Museum of Natural History and National Air and Space Museum, both filled with breathtaking natural and historical treasures. But we’re looking between the dinosaur bones and flying machines for a little extra intrigue. We find it at the National Museum of American History in the guise of a taxidermied pigeon, who, like us, was a spy. Sort of. Cher Ami was a carrier pigeon that, during World War I, heroically delivered a lifesaving message to American commanders, despite a wound to his breast and a nearly severed leg.
Next stop is the National Museum of the American Indian, dedicated to the heritage and culture of Native Americans. The museum offers an immersive experience through its captivating collection of artefacts, and we’re delighted by the interactive dancing, games, and storytelling. It’s also home to Mitsitam Café, where the menu showcases the culinary traditions of Native Americans, and our bellies are filled with fried bread and buffalo chilli washed down with a glass of sweet milky horchata.
But the standout of our Smithsonian journey is the National Museum of African American History and Culture, a humbling, heart-stirring 10-storey tribute to African American history that doesn’t shy away from a complex narrative blending moments of tragedy with triumph.
But there’s more to this city than museums, monuments, and politics. Peeling back the layers reveals a living city brimming with hidden stories and charm.
Back in Dupont Circle, where, amid its Gilded Age gorgeousness we spy an eclectic mix of quaint restaurants, tea stores, galleries, and even a tarot reader. But our target is the Barbie Pond on nearby Q Avenue, a curious collection of Barbie dolls living their best plastic lives. Today the Barbie Pond is celebrating Swifties with a hilarious Taylor’s Edition edit, but the pond-dwelling dolls are best known for their progressive re-enactments of movies, fearless political statements and holiday transformations from Halloween to the Fourth of July.
A convenient excuse to infiltrate DC once more. After all, this is just the first chapter in our DC dossier. Consider this a mere reconnaissance mission because we’ve barely scratched the city’s quirky surface. Time to regroup, reload on intel (and maybe another round of those Maryland crab cakes), and prepare for our next mission.
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Images © Aleney de Winter unless otherwise specified
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